Valuable Links to Love

Love is a condition or phenomenon of emotional primacy, or absolute value. Love generally includes an emotion of intense attraction to either another person, a place, or thing; and may also include the aspect of caring for or finding identification with those objects, including self-love. Love can describe an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience usually felt by a person for another person. Love is commonly considered impossible to define.

The concept of love, however, is subject to debate. Some deny the existence of love, calling it a recently invented abstraction. Others maintain that love exists but is indefinable; being a quantity which is spiritual, metaphysical, or philosophical in nature. The views that love does not exist or is indefinable may underlie the fact that approximately 13 percent of cultures have no word for love. The remaining 87 percent attempt to define this abstract concept and apply it to everyday life. Love is one of the most common themes in art and often times is an excuse for " bad art". Some psychologists maintain that love is the abstract action of lending one's "boundary" or "self esteem" to another.

Overview
Love has several different meanings in the English language, from something that gives a little pleasure to something for which one would die. And in contrast to the definition at the top, frequently people use the verb "love" to indicate want or desire for themselves as opposed to for another. For example: "I love that lamp," does not refer to desiring wellness for the lamp, but rather to the desire for the lamp. The word also frequently indicates elevated appreciation or admiration: "I love that artist," An individual might state.

Cultural differences make any universal definition of love difficult to establish. Expressions of love may include the love for a soul or mind, the love of laws and organizations, love for a body, love for nature, love of food, love of money, love for learning, love of power, love of fame, and love for the respect of others. Different people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. Love is essentially an abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. Many believe, as stated originally by Virgil that "Love conquers all", or as stated by The Beatles, "All you need is love". Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of 'absolute value', as opposed to 'relative value'.

Types
Courtly love – a late medieval conventionalized code prescribing certain conduct and emotions for ladies and their lovers
Erotic love – desire characterized by sexual desires
Familial love – affection brokered through kinship connections, intertwined with concepts of attachment and bonding
Free love – sexual relations according to choice and unrestricted by marriage
Platonic love – a close relationship in which sexual desire is nonexistent or has been suppressed or sublimated
Puppy love – romantic affection that is not "mature" or not "true." The term reflects a bias that love between youngsters is somehow less valid.
Religious love – devotion to one's deity or theology
Romantic love – affection characterized by a mix of emotional and sexual desire
True love - love without condition, motive or attachment. Loving someone just because they are themselves, not their actions or beliefs in particular.
Unrequited love – affection and desire not reciprocated or returned
Love overall is a connection between two people that can not ever be destroyed

Scientific views
Throughout history, predominantly, philosophy and religion have speculated the most into the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. Recently, however, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have begun to take centre stage in discussion as to the nature and function of love.

Biological models of sex tend to see it as a mammalian drive, just like hunger or thirst. Psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg created his Triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components : Intimacy, Commitment, and Passion. Intimacy is a form where two people can share secrets and various details of their personal lives. Intimacy is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment on the other hand is the expectation that the relationship is going to last forever. The last and most common form of love is simply sex, or passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. This led researchers such as Yela to further refine the model by seperating Passion into two independents components : Erotic Passion and Romantic Passion.

Cultural views
Although there exist numerous cross-cultural unified similarities as to the nature and definition of love, as in there being a thread of commitment, tenderness, and passion common to all human existence, there are differences. For example, in India, with arranged marriages commonplace, it is believed that love is not a necessary ingredient in the initial stages of marriage – it is something that can be created during the marriage; whereas in Western culture, by comparison, love is seen as a necessary prerequisite to marriage.

Religious views
Love in early religions was a mixture of ecstatic devotion and ritualised obligation to idealised natural forces (pagan polytheism). Later religions shifted emphasis towards single abstractly-oriented objects like God, law, church and state (formalised monotheism).
A third view, pantheism, recognises a state or truth distinct from (and often antagonistic to) the idea that there is a difference between the worshipping subject and the worshipped object. Love is reality, of which we, moving through time, imperfectly interprete ourselves as an isolated part.

Definitional issues
Dictionaries tend to define love as deep affection or fondness. In colloquial use, according to polled opinion, the most favoured definitions of love include the words:
life - someone or something for which you would give your life.
care - someone or something about which you care more than yourself.
In common use, care refers to a mental or emotional state of predisposition in which one has an interest or concern for someone or something. To care for someone, may also refer to a disquieted state of mixed uncertainty, apprehension, and responsibility; or a cause for such anxiety. Caring for an object, such as a house, refers to a state of attendant maintenance; or may also refer to a state of charge or supervision, as in under a doctor’s care.
friendship - favoured interpersonal associations or relationships.
union - dissolution of loving subject into loved object; a hyper-real state of creative generosity.
family - people related via common ancestry.
bond.

Article on Love

What is Love?
The world's great wisdom traditions say that love is the ultimate reality of existence. In human romantic relationships, the more we strive to reflect that divine, universal love, the more harmony and freedom we will have with our partner. Real love has no agendas, no attachments, no ideas, no demands, and no conditions. These are all things we add to the experience of love, which begin to contaminate our love, and which also begin to confuse us about what love is. Real, uncontaminated love has one simple agenda: to love!

Our minds can talk about love, but they can't actually experience love. Love can only be experienced through feeling. Many times we confuse the experience of love with the word or idea of love. You can say the words "I love you," and not be feeling love. You can also feel love when you think you can't or shouldn't.
True love of another human being is wanting what is best for them even if that's not you. Our idea of what is best for them and what is truly best for them may be different.

Real love can't be used as a "bargaining chip." (Example: "I will love you if you promise to never leave or hurt me.") Bargaining and other forms of manipulation begin to contaminate our love for another human being.

What Is a Relationship?
In some ways, "relationship" is a made-up concept. A relationship can be created any way that works for the two people involved. Often we get fixated on past images of what a relationship is suppose to look like: parents, movies, fantasies, and even previous relationships. Many times we limit our enjoyment by holding on to our attachments of what we think a relationship is supposed to look like.

The more exciting possibility is to invent whatever relationship would work best for the two people involved. There is really no specific way a relationship has to look. It can be a truly exciting art to sit down with another human being and invent a relationship that will mutually support both of you. This also keeps the door open to recreating the relationship or aspects of the relationship from time to time so both people will continue to be served and enlivened.

"Getting to know one's partner can be a life-long fascination"

Even if you have been in a relationship for many years, you can still recreate or add more to your existing relationship, as long as both people are committed to having a fulfilling relationship.

Warning: It's important that both people authentically want to be in the relationship. If one partner is secretly ambivalent or staying because they are scared to leave, that person will tend to unconsciously sabotage any effort to create a healthy relationship.

Playing on the Same Team
Do you play on the same team as your partner?

If you see your partner as being on your team, when you have a conflict it becomes a challenge for you to work to resolve (the conflict is outside the relationship).
If you see your partner as your opponent, then the conflict is you against your partner. The conflict then often becomes a war about winning rather than about resolution.

It is possible to create a relationship based on team playing where each partner is engaged in contribution to the other. Choosing to play consciously together as a team shifts the focus from individual needs to the larger needs of the relationship as a whole. When this happens, there is an increase in the intimacy, openness and love available.

On the individual level, when you are working with each other as opposed to working against each other you may discover that many aspects of your life will be elevated.

Final thought: Most couples are provided with the opportunity either to elevate each other's lives for the better or wreak havoc in each other's lives.

Honesty and Openness
It goes almost without saying that you need to be honest to have a good relationship. Sometimes people feel like they are being honest because they haven't told any outright lies, but at the same time they aren't being very open with sharing their feelings, vulnerability, or whatever else maybe happening inside them. For someone to have a chance to get really close to you, it is essential to allow them to get beyond your surface walls. This allows the relationship to connect on deeper and more intimate levels. It also means allowing yourself to be vulnerable. This is a very important point: be gentle to your partner when they are vulnerable. If you are mean or critical they will be much less likely to let you in again.

How Do You Create More Honesty and Openness in Your Relationship?
For starters, have the courage to be more open and honest yourself. From my personal experience, when you become more open and honest, most people will respond by becoming more open and honest back. It's kind of like everyone is waiting for the other person to go first.

How you listen matters. If you create a space with your listening that feels safe to your partner, he/she is likely to be more open with you. Over time as we discover that someone is a safe person to open up and express our real selves with, we will continue to open up.

Underneath our facades and layers of armor, we all are these beautiful vulnerable beings, like sweet children. The reason we developed the armor in the first place was to protect that soft and innocent part of ourselves from attacks. It takes time to trust if we let down our masks and armor that we won't be punched in the stomach. So, if you want your partner to be more open with you, be sensitive and gentle when they are opening up. If you are mean and critical when they are being open, they will be far less likely to open up again.

Ultimately: The place to get is where both of you can drop your masks and armor with each other. Then you can simply just be yourselves with one another. That in itself is one of the greatest gifts of being in a good relationship!

Loving All-Out
To have any chance of something really special with another human being, it's essential to transcend the pettiness of possession and neediness. Be willing to love beyond getting what you want. Make your priority be loving the person and wanting what's best for them, even if it's not you at some point. This doesn't make you a sucker. You can love your partner all out and still choose to leave the relationship if they don't treat you well. This is in fact loving yourself all out (which is also essential to having a good relationship with another human being).

Many times what keeps people from having a good relationship is their fear of losing one another. Important: It's critical to make the love and the friendship of another human being senior to the relationship. If not, the relationship becomes more important to you than the other person or their happiness. To have a transcendent relationship, your attachment to the relationship needs to be secondary to your commitment to love and support one another whether or not you stay together. I know it is ironic but this road actually gives you the possibility of a wonderful life long partnership. The other road keeps you in fear and desperation.

Remembering to Have Fun
Most couples do a good job of having fun for the first few months or even years of their relationship. Then many times they stop having fun together. I guess between kids, work, and life's obligations they can't find the time. If you find this happening to you, it's a good idea to plan something fun at least once a week that the two of you can do alone. If you have kids it maybe getting a baby sitter just so the two of you can have a relaxing evening at home alone. Playing and having fun is one of the primary ways that human beings bond! If you stop having fun together a relationship will often go stale or feel flat.


Falling Asleep
Many times as we fall into routines with our significant other, somewhere between "pass the coffee," and "I'm late to work," we stop making real contact with our partner. One day we fall asleep and the next thing we know is years have passed and we wake up wondering what happened? How did we lose sight of each other? One of the pitfalls for all human beings is that we tend to go unconscious with anything that is routine in our life, including our partner. No matter how wonderful they may be, given time we tend to take our loved ones for granted. Don't forget to love the people in your life every day! This world is full of tales of people who only when faced with the loss of a loved one discovered how much more they wish they had expressed. Make the people in your life the priority, not the other stuff! If you have ever lost a loved one you understood instantly that all that other stuff wasn't really all that important at all. Make it your priority every day to love the people in your life all out. This will help you guard against falling asleep and taking each other for granted.
We don't have as much time in this life as we may think and you never know when it's the last time you will see a loved one. I recommend loving with a sense of urgency and not taking your time with a significant other for granted! I say this not to scare you but to wake you up; we all can use a reminder from time to time.

Repeat Fights
Unresolved conflicts tend to repeat themselves. Many times couples have been having the same fight for over 20 years and don't even realize it because the content is slightly different but at its root the problem is coming from the same place. If you are not able to resolve a conflict, get help: it will save you a lot of unnecessary pain in the future.

Unexpressed Anger/Hurt Feelings
Over time, withheld anger and hurt feelings cover up our ability to feel our love for another human being. Part of being honest is expressing to your partner what you are mad or hurt about (without being mean or abusive). Conversely, be willing to allow your partner to share their feelings of anger and hurt with you. I know it can be challenging to listen to at times. Yet in any relationship feelings are going to get hurt and people are going to get mad. The ability to express and listen to hurt feelings and anger and get over them is critical to having a long term fulfilling relationship. I know expressing anger and hurt feelings can sometimes be taboo in our culture. But people can get over being hurt or mad, it's far from the end of the world. In fact, once you have experienced staying with another human being while they are hurt or mad at you and eventually getting to the other side, you will discover that this can be quite a gift to your relationship. In fact you are likely to experience a new level of intimacy and love in your relationship. Since this is an area that many of us have never been taught how to deal with, it may be best to find a skilled mediator, counselor, or therapist for the first time, particularly for coaching in how to keep your anger clean and non- abusive. Lastly, remember the idea of expressing your anger or hurt feelings is to get over them, not to punish, blame or belittle your partner.

When expressing anger, keep it simple. Leave your story and blame out! Say, "I don't like what you said or did." Be specific; don't add extra venom. Example: "I didn't like when you said I was a lazy bum," or "I didn't like that you went out without calling me." Again, the idea isn't to make the other person wrong but to rather get over your anger/hurt so you can love them again.

Again, this is probably something that you will not be able to get fully by reading and applying. I recommend getting some help/training for at least the first few times.

How To Identify Real Love

Dating, Love, and the Opposite Sex

You’ve begun to notice the opposite sex—perhaps even one person in particular. New feelings and emotions surge through your body. But just what is it that you are feeling? Is it love—the kind that lasts forever—or something else? And just what should you do about those feelings? Let us now examine some sensible answers to your questions on the subject of romance.
How Do I Know If It’s Real Love?

LOVE—to starry-eyed romantics it is a mysterious visitation that seizes you, a once-in-a-lifetime feeling of sheer ecstasy. Love, they believe, is strictly an affair of the heart, something that cannot be understood, just experienced. Love conquers all and lasts forever . . .
So go the romantic clichés. And no doubt about it, falling in love can be a uniquely beautiful experience. But just what is real love?

Love at First Sight?

Moses met Tracy for the first time at a party. He was immediately attracted to her shapely figure and the way her hair tumbled over her eye when she laughed. Tracy was enchanted by his deep brown eyes and his witty conversation. It seemed like a case of mutual love at first sight!

During the next three weeks, Moses and Tracy were inseparable. Then one night Tracy received a devastating phone call from a former boyfriend. She called Moses for comfort. But Moses, feeling threatened and confused, responded coldly. The love they thought would last forever died that night.

Movies, books, and television shows would have you believe that love at first sight lasts forever. Granted, physical attractiveness is usually what makes two people notice each other in the first place. As one young man put it: “It is hard to ‘see’ a person’s personality.” But what is it that one “loves” when a relationship is but a few hours or days old? Is it not the image that person projects? Really, you don’t know much about that person’s thoughts, hopes, fears, plans, habits, skills, or abilities. You’ve met only the outer shell, not “the secret person of the heart.” (1 Peter 3:4) How enduring could such love be?

Love Versus Infatuation

“Infatuation is blind and it likes to stay that way. It doesn’t like to look at reality,” admits 24-year-old boy. A 16-year-old girl, added, “When you’re infatuated with a person, you think that everything they do is just perfect.”

Infatuation is counterfeit love. It is unrealistic and self-centered. Infatuated persons have a tendency to say: ‘I really feel important when I’m with him. I can’t sleep. I can’t believe how fantastic this is’ or, ‘She really makes me feel good.’ Notice how many times either “I” or “me” is used? A relationship based on selfishness is bound to fail! Note, however, the Bible’s description of true love: “Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury.”—1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

Since it “does not look for its own interests,” love based on Bible principle is neither self-centered nor selfish. True, a couple may have strong romantic feelings and mutual attraction. But these feelings are balanced by reason and deep respect for the other person. When you are really in love, you care just as much for the other person’s welfare and happiness as you do for your own. You do not let overpowering emotion destroy good judgment. It Takes Time!

True love is therefore not hurt by time. Indeed, often the best way to test out your feelings for someone is to let some time pass. Furthermore, as a young woman observed: “A person just doesn’t hand out to you his personality by simply saying: ‘This is what I am. Now you know all about me.’” No, it also takes time to get to know someone you are interested in.

Time also allows you to examine your romantic interest in the light of the Bible. Remember, love “does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests.” Is your companion eager for the success of your plans—or only for his or her own? Does he or she show respect for your viewpoint, your feelings? Has he or she pressured you to do things that are really ‘indecent’ in order to satisfy selfish passions? Does this person tend to put you down or build you up in front of others? Asking questions like these can help you appraise your feelings more objectively.

Rushing romance invites disaster. “I just fell in love, fast and deep,” explained 20-year-old girl. After a whirlwind romance of two months, she married. But previously concealed faults began to emerge. She began to display some of her insecurity and self-centeredness. Her husband lost his romantic charm and became selfish. After being married for about two years, She one day screamed that her husband was “cheap,” “lazy,” and a “flop” as a husband. The husband responded by striking her in the face with his fist. In tears, she dashed out of their house—and out of their marriage.

Real love does not happen overnight. Nor is the person who would make you a good marriage mate necessarily someone you find overwhelmingly attractive. One girl, for example, met a young man whom she admits she was not overly attracted to—at first. “But as I got to know him better,” She recalls, “things changed. I saw his concern for other people and how he always put the interests of others before himself. These were the qualities I knew would make a good husband. I was drawn to him and began to love him.” A solid marriage resulted.

So how can you know true love? Your heart may speak, but trust your Bible-trained mind. Get to know more than the person’s external “image.” Give the relationship time to blossom. Remember, infatuation reaches a fever pitch in a short time but then fades. Genuine love grows stronger with time and becomes “a perfect bond of union.”—Colossians 3:14.

Respond to the questions below in the comment·

. What is the danger of falling in love with someone’s looks?
. Can your heart be trusted to recognize real love?
. What are some differences between love and infatuation?
. Why do dating couples often split up? Is this always wrong?
. How can you deal with feelings of rejection if a romance has been terminated?
. Why is it important to take time to get to know each other?

How Can I Tell I'm In Love

It is a very common question, "How can I tell I'm in love?", but it is not an easy question to answer. What feels like love to one person may be nothing more than attraction to another. Some people fall in and out of love quickly and often while others are never really in love as much as they are in lust. This can get confusing when you are a teen because romantic love is a relatively new concept for you and you don't know what to expect. You are overwhelmed with all sorts of new feelings and social pressures. They are confusing. What is love? What makes you want a romantic relationship with one person and not another? How does your heart choose a partner? Why does love end? These questions can't be easily answered.

One of the most confusing quasi-love feelings is lust. Lust is a very powerful, very intense feeling of physical attraction toward another person. Lust is mainly sexual in nature - the attraction is superficial based on instant chemistry rather than genuine caring. Usually we lust after people we do not know well, people we still feel comfortable fantasizing about. It is very common for people to confuse lust for love. But why? What is it about lust and love that make them so easy to mix up? If lust is all about sex, how can a relationship without sex be about lust? Teens struggle with this because they see lust in the Biblical sense, but lust isn't that sinister. Lust is about physical attraction and acting ONLY on physical attraction. Love is about much more than that. Yet many teens (and to be fair, many adults) confuse an intense attraction for some sort if divine love. For teens, since feelings of attraction are still new and since pop-culture sells sex and love as one package, it is very easy to get the two mixed up.

Lust is clearly not love. Love is based on more than just physical attraction. Sure, attraction is a factor, but love goes deeper than that. Love is based on caring, friendship, commitment and trust. When you are in love it is as if you have your best most trusted friend at your side AND you feel physically attracted to them. It is the best of both worlds! Love is a shared feeling between two people who have a vested interest in one anothers happiness. Love is not about jealousy. It is not about conflict. It is not about testing. Love is a positive feeling. If it is tainted by mistrust, jealousy, insecurity or spitefulness it is not really love but merely a pale copy. Love is the total surrender of your heart to another person with the security of knowing they will treat it better than you will. Love should feel good. It should not feel bad. Love should make you want to be a better person, it should not lead you to do something self destructive. Love is not demanding of your spirit but lifts it and makes it glow. Love is a good thing. Anything less is lust, deep friendship or attraction. So the sappiness aside, the question remains, how can you tell you are in love?

There is no easy way to find the truth behind your feelings or the feelings of another person but there are some tell-tale signs that love is blooming (or growing deeper). If you agree with 7 of the following 9 statements you are probably in love.

1. You know, because you have been told by your significant other, that your deep feelings are returned in kind.
   
2. The object of your affections makes you feel special and good about yourself.
   
3. If/when you feel jealous it is always fleeting; you trust your partner not to betray you or hurt your relationship.
   
4. Nothing makes you feel as serene as when you and your partner are together.
   
5. When you fight with your partner you usually make up within a few hours and you always agree that nothing is more important than you both being able to express your true feelings (even if they sometimes cause conflict).
   
6. Your partner never asks you to choose between him/her and your loyalties to your family and friends - if you do choose him/her over them, you always have a good reason and it is always YOUR decision, and your decision alone.
   
7. Neither you or your partner feel the need to test the other's loyalties or feelings.
   
8. You are more yourself when with your partner than you are with anybody else.
   
9. If sex is part of your relationship it is by mutual desire and agreement without the slightest hint of commitment testing or persuasion.

Top 10 Fact On Love

Love

1. Love does not hurt. Physical and/or emotional abuse are not a part of love.


2. Love is not manipulative, it should not be used to get others to do what you want. You should never give in to demands
   based on the, "You would do it if you loved me!" tactic.


3. Love is an intense feeling of caring for another person. It can take many different forms (romantic, friendly, familial) but
   it is always about caring.


4. Although it is true that a big part of love is putting another person's happiness ahead of your own this never
   includes compromising your values or being untrue to yourself.



5. If somebody asks you to do something that you don't want to do in order to "prove" your love they do not love you the way
   you might think they do. When you love another person you don't ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of that love.


6. It is very easy to confuse lust for love. The true measure of romantic love is commitment and trust not
   physical attraction.


7. It is possible to feel romantic love for more than one person at a given time. Just think, if it is possible for you to love
   both of your parents at the same time why would it be impossible to feel romantic love for two people at once? Don't beat
   yourself up emotionally if you find yourself in this unhappy situation. But be sure to remain single and be open and honest
   with all parties about your feelings and confusion.


8. Sex is NOT love. Love is NOT sex. Sex can be a part of romantic love but it is never mandatory.


9. Romantic love can (and often does) fade. When it goes there is not always a reason. When somebody falls out of love
   with you it does not reflect upon your value as a person or your desirability.



10. Love should make you feel happy, secure and appreciated.

How Do I Make Him Love Me?

Question:

I have a big crush on this guy in a grade higher than me. We don't have any classes together but we are both in band and on the school paper. I know I love him because I just can't get him off of my mind. At a party I confessed my true feelings and he told me he liked me too - as a friend. He said he just wanted us to be friends right now. I really, really want to be with him, how do I make him love me?

Answer:

You are suffering from a killer one-sided crush, also known as "unrequited love", and there really isn't much you can do to change it into a relationship. I'll be blunt. You can not make somebody love you. You can't even make them like you. There are no magic spells or secret tricks that will make a person suddenly feel for you the way you feel for them. Love doesn't work like that (and thank the sweet stars above that it doesn't!). Love, when it is real and returned, is one of the most amazing feelings you will ever experience. Although it is hard to accept that this person doesn't return your feelings, it may help you to know that the pain you now feel will be erased from your heart when you find someone who does love you back.

Now back to the issue at hand, coping with your current crush. Since he has made his feelings for you clear, namely that he wants to be friends, you really only have one choice. You have to honor his feelings and wishes. You do however have options as to exactly how you handle the "friendship situation". You can swallow your feelings, move on and work on having "just a friendship" with this guy or, you can harbour your feelings and hope that the future will see your friendship turn romantic. Either way, the one thing you should do is actively take him up on his offer of friendship in spite of your deeper feelings.

Take heart, all is not lost! Friendship is always a good place to start. Right now he only knows a "one dimensional" you, as your friendship progresses he will come to see your many sides. With time, his feelings may even deepen into romatic interest. You say that the two of you are not in any classes together so it is entirely possible that his "Let's be friends!" comment is not a mere brush off, but a bonafide offer. He may want to start as friends because he doesn't know you well enough to have any deeper feelings (a sign that he is a good guy BTW), or he may be using the "friendship line" as a brush off (a sign that he is NOT a good guy BTW). You can't be certain which of these is true until you make a go of the friendship. Work from the premise that he really wants a friendship with you until he indicates otherwise.

By becoming his friend you get the opportunity let him see a new side of you, and you get to see a new side of him. In getting closer you may even fall into a relationship. Of course, the opposite is also true. As you get to know him better your crush, which is built on a fantasy not a reality, may disappear and you may lose interest in him. There are no guarantees that your feelings will stay the same through your burgeoning friendship. There are also no guarantees that his current feelings will change into love. After you become friends you may end up exactly where you are right now, in a one-sided love affair. But at this point in time, what have you got to lose? At the very least you gain a closer acquaintance and at the most you'll get your man!

Love Quotations

"Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed." - John Tarrant

"We love because it's the only true adventure." - Nikki Giovanni

"Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker

"Love is friendship set on fire." - unknown

"Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing." - Goethe

"To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia." - H.L. Mencken

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

"Sometimes love is stronger than a man's convictions." - Isaac Bashevis Singer

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it." - Robert Mitchum

"Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside." - Margaret Walker

"Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature."

- Howard Thurman

"Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." - Anonymous

"Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other."

- Rainer Maria Rilke

"Where love is, no room is too small." - Talmud

"Loves makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." - Zora Neale Hurston

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Mark Twain

"To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." - Karen Sunde

"A love song is just a caress set to music." - Sigmund Romberg

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov

"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever."

- unknown

"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence."

- Erich Fromm

"In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man's worth."

- Bill Wundram, Iowa Quad Cities Times

"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

- Elizabeth Browning

"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is a thing that can never go wrong; And I am Marie of Roumania." - Dorothy Parker

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen

visit again for more ...

Loving A Person And Loving God

What is LOVE?


Loving another person is not separate from loving God.

One is a single wave, the other is the ocean.


Contemplate love every day. Loving reflections
make the heart grow.

Surrender to love as a guiding force.


Love never forces. Love is intelligent and brings only what you need.

The awakening of true love lies in finding peace within passion and
passion within peace.


To feel beauty is to know that truth. To know the truth is to be in love.


Your marriage is a play of the divine.

Two souls pretend to be separate for the sheer joy of coming together in love.

The highest expression of love is creativity.

Love doesn't need reason. It speaks from the irrational wisdom of the heart.

A heart that has learned to trust can be at rest in the world.

Love is attention without judgement.
In its natural state, attention
only appreciates.

Love is the beginning of the journey, its end and the journey itself.

Love is like water. If it doesn't flow, it stagnates.

The mind judges what is good or bad. Love brings only good.


True love is here and now.

Whatever you can remember or anticipate is only a shadow of love.

For Friends

Love is respecting each others wishesOpening up and listening to each otherVoicing opinions without screaming and shoutingEnjoying each others company, but also having spaceImagining and feeling you want to be with that person foreverSmiling at each other, and knowing you want to grow old together.

What is Love

What is love, does anyone really know?
What is love, they say it takes time to grow
What is love, is it just three words people say?
What is love, what does the real thing mean anyway?

Some people say the words, quickly and easily which is sad
They treat you nicely at first, get you hooked then treat you bad
They control, intimidate and shout to get what they want from you
So in fear you give into their demands as you don’t know what else to do

Until finally one day you have had enough
You then stand up to them and you start to get tough
You tell them you can't take this anymore
And say to pack their bags and show them the door

You end up hurt, crushed and in much pain
Then not being able to trust or love again

So your heart shuts down and you close the door
So as to protect yourself from being a doormat anymore

But one type of love I know that is real
Is the love for your child that you feel
Its unconditional just like God's love for me
Its precious, worth its weight in Gold and is free

Courtesy of my very good and nice friend Lynne White

Emmanuel Chibueze (Ceemah2002)